Can I re-write my history?
Can I reclaim my most
precious self?
I am betrayed, slain,
breathless and weakened.

My faith has been laid waste
by expectations of kindness
blown to bits.
Inside and out
landmines, aerial assaults
and repetitive, relentless
enemy fire is crushing.

My innocence is ruined.
My grace covered over,
stifled and ignored.
My intuition
smothered, choked
and beaten down.

The virtue
or corruption
of the adversary
is no concern of mine.
Accidental or intentional,
malicious or mindless;
I have forgiven them all.

Forgiven for good.
Forgiveness informed me:
analysis, blame and vengeance
are only dead ends
and dark tunnels with no true
light at their termination.

Is it too late? Am I too old?
Too far gone, bled to the bone?
Can I rescue my joy, my life?
Can I muster the courage?
Call in divine struts and pillars,
to prop up the broken mess?

Enlist the help of
invincible reinforcements?
Uncover a stealthy and
successful counteroffensive?
Perhaps.

I CAN salvage and restore
regenerate and relearn.
The question now is HOW?
Not for how long. or what then.
The question is: How NOW?
Moment by moment?
Unsure and shaking
I hear the wild things whisper,

“Walk with me, sweet refugee,
into your clearing.
Fear not. Take my hand,
meditate and let the mines
explode,
roll over and thru you.
Set aside the trauma, let it fall.
Observe the tension of agony,
anguish and grief.
Unstiffen – become tender.
Love all that aches.
Hold it softly in your gaze, and
relax as the dust settles in the
wake of your fearless kindness.

Re-create and nurture
conversations of peace within.
Never give up – GO IN.
Only Trust, Surrender,
Breathe and Remember
You ARE safe and loved.
Today, this day,
and always!”

©Laurie McCauley
Part III of Wreckage Reclaimed
April 23, 2021